How to talk to kids about political protests
If you’ve watched anti-Trump protests in the news or seen people marching in the streets in your own community, your kids have probably taken notice. Maybe they’ve already asked you, “What are those...
View ArticleA day for yourself, Mom.
Our kids don’t live with us any more. Here’s how that happened: We fed and watered them regularly and eventually they bypassed childhood, graduated from here and there, and outgrew their need for...
View ArticleA question of broken trust
At 36% approval rating, Trump is at a historic low for a POTUS in office less than 100 days. People don’t trust the guy, for lots of good reasons. Consequently, I’ve been focused for months on what’s...
View Article“My friend’s mom bullies her!”
Bullying prevention begins at home. A child’s propensity for being aggressive and/or putting up with aggressive behavior from others may begin at home as well. As this email suggests, however, rushing...
View ArticleParenting worry: Am I playing favorites?
Conventional parenting wisdom dictates: Parents should (must) love their children equally. “Equal” implies “exactly the same.” Not buying that in theory or in practice. We all savor different qualities...
View ArticleNo confidence and no boyfriend. Is there a connection?
Must be spring because my teen email is all about crushes. Most from middle schoolers. I won’t bore you my history, but… occasionally I dream about my 7th grade crush. So believe me, I get romantic...
View ArticleMom concerned by “touching” between 7 yr olds
This mom of a second grader is understandably unnerved by her seven-year-old son’s account of being “inappropriate touched” by one of his friends. She’s especially concerned about the possibility that...
View ArticleTeen questions her “path” in life
When you were seventeen did you have a clue about what you wanted to do with your life? I only knew that I wanted to go to Cornell University and to have a boyfriend. (I might be messing with the order...
View Article“I’m never going to win!”
We all want our opinions and feelings respected, especially by the people we care about most. A guiding rule for a healthy relationship (the only kind worth having) is: “I will respectfully try to...
View Article“I miss him, but…”
Joni Mitchell wrote: “Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone?” In other words (not as concise and rhythmic as a Joni lyric): “Damn! If I’d only nurtured and...
View Article“I’m a good kid, so why do my parents suddenly not trust me?”
The most effective tool in a parent’s arsenal just may be a clear memory of what it was like to be a kid. This is especially true if yours are 11-17. Most of what frustrates and infuriates our tweens...
View Article“Sometimes I get really angry!”
Our kids live in a faster, noisier, more stressed out world than the one we grew up in. That contributes to more people “losing it” more often. Not surprising kids may wonder if they’ll grow up...
View ArticleMy parents always tell me how a girl should act!
Parents of very cooperative teens may hear how “lucky” they are. This usually comes from parents of teens who are… well, acting like teens. In the same way that most infants spit up until they get the...
View Article“I try to tell my best friend I don’t want her help, but she gets mad.”
Twenty years ago I set up shop as Hey Terra at TheInSite.org to help teens manage their emotions responsibly so they can develop self-respect and maintain healthier relationships. 50K teen emails...
View ArticleShould I continue to fight for this girl?
Most of my teen email questions come from girls, but that doesn’t mean I don’t give advice to boys. I do. In fact, I welcome questions from guys. I also invite guys to read the questions girls send in....
View ArticleI value this friendship more than she does
A minor disagreement with a best friend can be worked out with a simple, honest conversation. But a major disagreement, for example, one of you wants more time/closeness than the other, is tougher to...
View ArticleHow come all my crushes like my friends better than me?
No matter how self-confident you are self-esteem can take a hit when other people consistently get all the attention. This is especially hard when you’ve got a serious crush on someone who’s into your...
View Article“I’m so uptight! How do I let loose?”
One of the most challenging parts of being a teen is how judgmental people at school and online can be. The other difficult piece is how hard you can be on yourself. 🙁 Maybe you’ve gotten into the...
View ArticleWhat should I do about my clingy friend?
It’s been a while since I updated my blog. Just to let you know, I have not been slacking. Most of my work is done at schools, so summer is typically a time for other projects. I’m working on a YA...
View ArticleI want a boyfriend but I’m not good at flirting!
I just got an email from a girl who’s never had a boyfriend and she really wants one. We’ve all been there, right? Everyone deserves to be loved. Being loved by someone you love is an amazing feeling...
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